Author’s Note: This is a guest post by Jelly and Da Dozer from facebook. Check out their page here. I wanted to feature Miss Jelly’s advice column to start off the new year. Many thanks to her for getting together some of her questions and answers. The names have been altered to protect the innocent. Translations from lolspeak are in italics. 

Mez started ask Jelly to bring da joy and smiles to da homans fans on our page and to give da
helpful advices!  Mez had da dance studio but it no work out me heart wasnt into it …do nots get
me wrong mez lub da shakin da booty but mez thought why not try somefin new expand mez talents
I lubs giving da advices and helpin da people and bringing da smiles to people is da bestest feeling in
da whole world.  I take da answering of da questions da serious and gives it some thoughts before
mez answer.

I started ask Jelly to bring joy and smiles to the human fans on our page and give helpful advice. I had a dance studio but it didn’t work out, my heart wasn’t into it. Don’t get me wrong, I loved shaking my booty but I thought why not try something new and expand my talent. I love giving advice and helping people and bringing them smiles. It’s the best feeling in the whole world. I take answering questions seriously and give it a lot of thought.
 Here are the questions asked of mez
Here are the questions asked of me:
Ask Jelly:
Lisa M. asks: Jelly…whats your favorite snack?
 awwwww Dat is da gureat questions Lisa M. well as you can tells mez like to snack 🙂
my favorite snack is da chicken. ty for asking mez
Aww, that’s a great question Miss Lisa, well as you can tell, I like to snack.
My favorite snack is chicken. 
Thanks for asking.
Mary C. asks: Dear Jelly, my cat won’t clean his bum. Help!!
Mary  wow dat is a tuff one…maybe u kitty try to do it but no do good job…
help a kitty out and use da baby wipes and helps dem….nuffin says me lub you like helpin wipe da bum!
ty for dat wonderfuls question
Mary, wow that is a tough one. Maybe your kitty tries to do this but is not good at it. 
Help a kitty out and use baby wipes and help them. Nothing says “I love you” like helping wipe the bum.
Thank you for that wonderful question. 
Wendi M. asks:   Jelly, why do kitties love boxes so much?
Holy cow Wendi  its just wonderful mez no can explain da joy mez feel in me hearts when i sittin in da box
…only thing mez can say is get a box bigs enough for you to chill out in and you will totally understand
….dat warm fuzzy feeling a box brings 🙂 wow dat was great question ty
Holy cow Wendi!
It’s just wonderful, I can’t explain the joy I feel in my heart when I’m sitting in a box.
Only thing I can say is get in a box big enough for you to chill out in and you will understand the warm fuzzy feeling a box brings.
Wow, that’s a great question, thank you.
Sharon L. asks: Dear Jelly! Why do kitties have to run around & play “chase me” at bedtime?
 why Sharon s mez is gonna tell you Dozer covers Jellys mouth,”NOOOO Jelly dat is cat secret!”
Jelly pushes Dozer away….purlease Dozer da homans deserves to know dis! Sorry Sharon me brufer is da rude!
okays it is simple we lubs to pawtay!!!!! and nite time is da right time to pawtay!!!!! it dat simple..
.if da noise is a bovering you just shuts da bedroom door when we done we will meow and scratch to get in to sleep wif you!
Dozer slaps his forehead oh jelly how coulds you tell our secrets!!!???!!!
Why Sharon, I’m going to tell you
*Dozer covers Jelly’s Mouth*
NOOOO Jelly! That’s a cat secret!
*Jelly puses Dozer away* Please Dozer, the humans deserve to know this! Sorry Sharon, my brother is rude.
Okay, it’s simple. We love to party! And night time is the right time to party. It’s that simply.
If the noise is bothering you just shut the door the bedroom door when we are done, we will meow and scratch to get in to sleep with you.
*Dozer slaps his forehead*
Oh Jelly how could you tell our secrets?!


Linda B. asks: Dear Jelly, why do my kitties LOVE turkey one day and hate it the next? I never know which can to open for them!

Linda B. we are very picky and we likes to keeps u homans guessin and maybes they want to haves da smorgasboard!!!!!! open all da favors for em dey will thanks you for it 🙂

Linda B, we are very picky and like to keep you humans guessing. Maybe what they want to have a smorgasboard. Open all the favors for them and they will thank you for it. 🙂 
Buddy  asks: any advice on keeping Mom Bea from putting oinment on my tiny crack on my paw pad?
Buddy dat is good question mez thinks dat you should lets her put da medicine on you pad, it fors you own goods.
.. howevers mez thinks she should gives you a great treats for letting her do it like da bacon mmmmmmmm mez lubs dat bacon!
Buddy, that is a good question. I think that you should let her put the medicien on your pads, it’s for your own good.
However I think she should give you treats for letting her do it.. like bacon… mmmm I love bacon!
Wendi M. My kitties would like any advice you have for getting the new puppy to stop chasing them.
ok Wendi M. dis advices is swat dat puppy in da nose nots too hard and nots to scratches da puppy but to shows him who is da Boss
in da house we all knows cats rule da world 🙂 Dat puppy needs to learns dat early in lifes…. if that no work tell dem to move
to da higher ground like da counter puppy cant get dem from der.
Ok, Wendi M, my advice is to swat the puppy on the nose, not too hard and not to scratch the puppy but show him who is the boss in the house. We all know cats rule the world. : The puppy needs to learn that early in life, if that doesn’t work than move them to a higher ground, like the counter so the puppy can’t get them from there. 
(Jelly thinking hard about today’s questions)
Dina T. asks: What kind of gift does kitteh want for the holiday??? I can’t decide what to get for them.
Dina mez favorites thing in da whole worlds is da crinkle tunnel ifs dey no haz it dat is great gifts for dem….
a box is nice gift too you knows we kitties lub a new box if you wants to get da fancy you canz buy dem a nice basket
Dina, my favorite thing in the whole world is the crinkle tunnel, if they don’t have one, that is a great gift for them. A box is a nice gift too, you know we kitties love a new box. If you want to get fancy you can buy them a nice basket. 
Castor M asks:  Jelly, there are 3 of us kitties in mews house. Meowmy pays attention to us all but
I only want her to pay attention to me! Should I ask Santa Claws for new sisfurs for my mom?
Are there any companies who clone meowmies? Thank mews!
Dis is da great question Castor mez no think they clone da meowmies yet but would be great if dey did 🙂
We thinks here at our house if you meowmie wants you to have more sisfurs den purlease get special needs one
cause me and Boo are special needs and our Lady says we is da gureatest Boo always wants da Lady to herselfs
at certain times Me and Doze has always shared her so we just learned to back off when Boo wants da alone time wif her.
Da Lady says Sharing is caring so try to share da Meowmy we is sure der is enough of hers to go around at you house!
Mez hopes me answered you questions
This is a great question Castor. I don’t think they can clone meowmies yet, but it would be great if they did. 🙂 
Here at our house we think that if your meowmy wants you to have more sisfurs then please get a special needs one because me and Boo are special needs and our Lady she’s we are the greats. Boo always wants the Lady to herself at certain times. Dozer and I have always shared her so we just learned to back off when Boo wants alone time with her.
The lady says sharing is caring, so try to share the Meowmy. We are sure this is enough of her to go around at your house!
I hope that answers your questions. 
Peggy L. asks: Jelly, I have three loved kitties. The big orange one is my favorite. He’s always purring and snuggles under
the blankets with me every night. I try not to show it, but I think his brother Tippy sees it and it hurts his cat feelings.
The two of them don’t get along at all and I think maybe this is part of it. The other kitty Mittens is definitely a Daddy’s boy and doesn’t care. I love Tippy to pieces, but the 2 can’t even be close to each other without fighting. Will they ever be nice to each other
so we can all spend time together? It’s been two years. Thank you wise handsome Jelly cat.
Peggy  dis is hard question hmmmm two years together is da long time sometimes kitties are loner and no like other kitties around
mez no get it but dat is life like da homans dat are da hermits me guesses….all you can do is lubs em all for der unique personalities
….Like our Gampa says about da Lady and her two sisfurs you all are so different but dat is what makes life interesting 🙂
but you cans try da feliway or purhaps da rescue remedy Lady used dos when Boo came here cause she wasnt happy and Doz and me
wasnt happy and when Jelly no happy NOBODY is happy MOL now we bestest buddies wif her Mez thank you for da question and
for calling me da wise…..*whispers* me is a gurl he he  oops me missed answering part of da questions sorry Peggy mez thinks wif da jealousy thing we did dis Boo wanted da Lady all to herselfs when she cames here would wigs out if we sat on da couch and
wanted pets too…..Da Lady gave us all da one on one time ….even though Doze and mez had no issue wif da sharing her….the jealous went away and now we all can cuddle wif our Lady together with no bad vibes…oh and also did you try da cookies for everybody in da same room Tipsy might chill out when he associates treats wif his brudder another helpful thing with us and da Boo!
Peggy, this is hard question, hmm, two years together is a long time. Sometimes kitties are loners and don’t like other kitties around. I don’t get it, but that is like life. Like the humans that are hermits, I guess. All you can do is love them for their unique personalities. Like our Gampa says about the Lady and her two sisfurs, you are all so different but that’s what makes life interesting. 🙂 
But you can try feliway or perhaps the rescue remedy Lady used to do when Boo came here because she wasn’t happy and Dozer and I weren’t happy and when I’m not happy, NOBODY is happy (mol). Now were are best buddies with her. Thank you for the question and calling me the wise… *whispers* I am a girl..hehe.. oops, I missed answering part of the question, sorry Peggy. I think with the jealously thing we did this too, Boo wanted the Lady all to herself and when she came here she wigged out if we sat on the couch and wanted pets too. The Lady gave us all pets one and a time. Even though Dozer and I have no issue with sharing her, the jealously went away and now we all can cuddle with our Lady together with no bad vibes. Oh, and also did you try cookies (treats) for everyone being in the same room? Tipsy might chill out when he associates treats with his brother another helpful thing the Lady did with us and Boo. 
(Jelly and Dozer, the early years) 
Thanks for reading!
Love Jelly, Dozer and Boo =^..^=